Carls JR ups the ante for burger size....The New Carls JR Cow Head Burger

Los Angeles CA-

10/8/2009

Wire Report-

The tempertures maybe dropping across the US, but the US burger wars are heating up.

In response to the release of Burger Kings Triple Whopper, Carls Jr today announced the newest member of their burger family, the twenty pound Cow Head Burger.

Ralph Lauren Paints releases newest fall color.....Foreskin Beige?

Rome, Italy-

At a press confrence today held in Rome, Italy Ralph Lauren announed his newest fall line paints. Always a fan of one upsmanship the CEO if the famous company announced "foreskin Beige" is all the rage.

Cont. pg 50

Breaking News: Gresham Oregon not choosen for 2012 Summer Olympics

From AP wire-

In a suprising move that shocked the world community, Gresham Oregon was taken off the possible list of hosts of the 2012 Olympics. Cont.pg 4

Photo of future site of Birds Nest Dos

Fred Spanish pitches Next Great Idea to Invention Magazine

Online Pitch
queries@entrepreneur.com
pitches@entrepreneur.com


Hey, gimmie a high five. Oh wait; there is no one else around.
How many times have you been in that situation?



Good afternoon my name is Fred Spanish and I am the inventor of the Dude Five, the worlds only self high five machine. This machine is capable of 32 hfpm (high five per minute) and comes with seven ethnic varieties of hands as well as a Sasquatch hand. You truly have a high five for any situation.

Who hasn’t been watching a game by themselves and came across your team with the winning touchdown dunk. You want to high five someone right? This allows you to get that high fiving satisfaction twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

The story of Dude Five really is a rag to riches story. Growing up in middle class neighborhoods of Madrid, to today the upper middle class neighborhood of Tigard, Oregon.

The story of Dude Five will make a perfect story for your magazine. If you accept my story I will also provide your office with one Dude Five machine, at ten percent of retail price, which includes a three pack of portable hands and one bonus yoda hand.



Fred Spanish

Dear Mr. Spanish

Thank you for your submission, however self high five machine is patent pending. I have included a sketch, looks like back to the drawing board.

Sincerely

Dave Frohams

Top Moobs Writer Pitches Top Chef Magazine

Attn: Bon Appetit
****** Imagine the best chef ever


I would like to submit my story idea of a recipe for a Spanish omelet. I am sure by now you have noticed that my name is Fred Spanish and yes, my great grandfather Emil Spanish invented the Spanish omelet back in Madrid on a blustery fall day in 1953. Our family has passed this down from generation to generation. I just received the recipe for Yom Kippur and I am ready to share it with the world. I only have part of the recipe due to a royalty dispute with my Uncle. Thank you and I look forward to writing for you soon.

Fred Spanish’s Spanish omelet

1 small, ______sliced1 small onion, __ eggsOne pinch of baking _____
____ to tasteOlive ____

Fry the ______and the _______in the olive oil until the potatoes are tender. Drain and let cool.
Add the eggs, baking powder and salt and mix everything well in a _____.
Fry the _____in a medium pan with just a drop of olive oil so it doesn't stick until the ____ looked cooked but before the omelet looks too____.

Doesn’t that look delicious! I look forward to hearing from you soon. Some say if you cook this just right you can see the image of Christopher Columbus in your eggs.
Talk with you soon
Fred Spanish

Yet to be reply